Ice and Pop Tarts
by roxypony
Summary: Loki just wants to indulge in some good old-fashioned angsty thoughts, but unfortunately Thor has other plans. Oneshot. Drabble. Crack. Featuring Bubbly!Thor and Melodramatic!Loki. Both very OOC.


Hi there. Well, I'm a Thor/Avengers addict of about one week and four days (late to the party, I know). I've skimmed this fandom and am seriously astounded at the writing quality! You guys are great. So I decided to toss my own little drabble onto the pile :)

This is just for fun, it really isn't much of anything. It was inspired by something I read in another fandom, featuring two very different brothers. Go figure. No warnings, other than angsty Loki thoughts and Thor being annoying. Just a bit of language at the end, but if you're old enough to be on this site then it really shouldn't bother you.

Of course this is OOC; Loki isn't this melodramatic and Thor isn't quite this bubbly. I don't own the snippets of song lyrics, they belong to Cristina Perry and LMFAO, respectively. I also don't own Flo Rida.

I think that should be all. Enjoy!

* * *

_Ice. Ice and numbness. It was all he knew; it ran through his veins and fragmented his soul. His soul, if you could even call it that. He supposed he shouldn't have been surprised to find out the truth. It only made sense after all. His whole life he'd been surrounded by warmth and light and whatever other lovely words you could think of; yet never once had a single ray of hope been able to penetrate the invisible coffin of ice with nails of misery that surrounded his entire being, slowly crushing him over time-_

"Loki? Loki! Lookkiiiiii? HEY! Loki! There you are! I've been looking all over the place for you. Jeez, you shouldn't go running off like that. It's almost like you _enjoy _hiding in dark corners. You're so hilarious sometimes! Anyway, you'll never guess what I just got, prepare to have your mind blown by AWESOMENESS."

_-until it crushed his body and soul -or lack thereof- into an insignificant, pathetic vapour of black nothingness, weak enough to be dispersed with a single gust of wind. Maybe it would be better that way. His 'family' would be happier without him - all the more sunshine for his oh-so-glorious brother! Maybe just once, his pretend-parents would wonder 'Didn't we have another kid? What was his name again?" But then Thor would go off and do something magnificent and golden and stuff, and they'd lose their train of thought, never to regain it again. And that would be the final extermination of whatever miserable excuse for a legacy Loki left behind- _

"Okay bro. Check this out - a custom grip for Mjolnir's handle! Is this not the sickest thing you've ever seen? I got it on a special order from Midgard, it's the same kind they use on the handle-bar-steering-mechanism on their iron-horses-with-wheels, they just call them 'motor bikes'. It's scratch-proof and sweat resistant, so it won't get all slippery when I'm fighting, so I won't drop it! Hey, remember that one time it kinda just slipped out of my hand and fell on your foot? Well, now you can rest easy 'cause that'll never happen again. Man, the look on your face that day - priceless!"

_-agony, sheer agony. That's all he remembered from that day. In fact, his entire life. It had all been one pain after another, or maybe it had all been just one big pain. He really couldn't differentiate. Maybe he'd done something to deserve it… maybe this was his punishment. But for what? He'd lost countless hours of sleep trying to puzzle it out, and when he finally did sleep he was plagued by relentless nightmares. And naturally, the monsters in his dreams didn't have any answers either-_

"Hey, you don't look so good. You look like you ate a brussell sprout wrapped in spinach soaked in fish juice. Actually that's kinda just your every-day face. Do you dye your hair or is it naturally that dark? Maybe it turned black from you being so crabby all the time. Or maybe lack of sunlight, 'cause you're always pouting in dark corners, like right now. Have you ever thought about dying it? I mean, black is just so damn depressing. OH, I have an idea. Get ready for this… _you should go blonde! _ Isn't that the best idea ever?"

_- no one could help him now. He was forever cursed to wander in a black sea of eternal loneliness, surrounded by ghosts and accompanied only by the demons that seemed determined to eat him alive, from the inside out with teeth of lies and claws of despair. Some cruel higher power was clearly gleaning some entertainment out of the daily torment that rained down upon him like a hailstorm of agony that would never end -_

"Seriously bro, blonde is the way to go. You know what they say: New year, new you! Plus, blonde wouldn't contrast with your skin as much. Have you always been that pale? I mean, holy jeez, it looks like you're freezing to death or something. But it's so nice and warm in here, why do you look so cold? Is it radiating out from inside you? Cuz that can't be healthy. You're gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul. Hehe, I heard that in a song. It's a pretty good song. Let's listen to it! Wait, no. You're right. The look on your face says it all, brother. That song is much too depressing, we need some Flo Rida in here! Don't move, I'll go get it."

_- maybe he should just pack up and move to Jotunheim already. At least there he wouldn't feel like a icicle among flowers like he did every day of his life in Asgard. But no, even his biological father had abandoned him on that fateful day in his infanthood. Hated and rejected by his own race before he even developed a personality. Maybe that was how it was meant to be, maybe he just had some terrible, awful quality that repulsed everyone he made contact with; made them worse for knowing him. They deserved better than this, better than him. Worth nothing, contributing nothing, no matter how hard he tried -_

"I'm back! And look what I brought. All the cool kids on Midgard have these. It's called an 'iPod dock'. And I made an entire Flo Rida playlist! Oh no, what's wrong? You don't like Flo Rida? Don't worry, I have plenty of LMFAO on here too. Nobody can resist some Party Rockin' in the house."

_- because nothing he could do was enough to lift the blanket of shame and excruciation that he was forever doomed to carry, until the day it finally killed him. Sometimes he wondered if death was watching him, waiting for the right time to rip the life from his body.__Maybe life would finally show him mercy through death; because anything would be better than this -_

_"I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT! _Come on, brother! Let us _rock!_ But maybe take your helmet off? Those horns could take an eye out. You should get a less intimidating helmet. I know, you should wear one of those hats with furry ear-flaps! They look so nice and welcoming."

_- because he just couldn't take the pain for another moment, he was going to -_

_"Gurrl look at that body, gurrl look at that body, uh huh, I WORK OUT! _Ah, Asgard has nothing comparable to Midgardian music. Don't you think, Loki?_"_

_- he was going to -_

"Loki?"

_- going to -_

"LOKI!"

_- oh for fuck's sakes!_

"THOR?"

"Way ahead of you, bro. I remembered to bring your favourite PopTarts, see? Strawberry or blueberry?"

"...Thor…"

"Uh huh?"

"Strawberry, please. And play that obnoxious song one more time, if you don't mind."

* * *

That's that. Because everyone secretly wanted Thor to sing 'Sexy And I Know It.' You're welcome.

I'm not done here though, I also want to write a multi-chaptered ...thing... featuring more of the Avengers and more light, random fun, which tends to be my specialty.

Ps - writing all those paragraphs of mindless angst was very tiring xD

Please drop me a review if you took any pleasure from reading this, it's always nerve-wracking posting into a new fandom, especially awesome ones ;) don't flame - flames will be flamed back.

Peace, Love, and PopTarts :)

RXP


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